The first iffy ever

Few weeks ago, we had a little iffy situation. Azfar is generally a very easy baby to care for. He very seldom cry, moderate temperament, and most of the time a very happy and smiling baby.

So when Azfar get fussy, even a little bit, my mommy's siren went off! That morning Azfar was a little clingy, and only want to nurse. Granted, he has always been attached to nursing, but this time around a bit more than usual. We had his temperature taken, it was normal. So I put it down to me being over reacting.

We went out for our first meeting, and that was when his fever spiked. :( of course I'm worried. After a short visit to his doctor, we went straight home. Luckily, the fever lasted for only a day. But I stayed home the next day to give Azfar time to rest.

Snatches of free time

Yeay!!! It is now been a month since azfar started sleeping at 8pm (or around that time frame). Which means that mommy can have some time to watch tv or do whatever else that mommy want to do!!!

He started sleeping at 8pm just in time for "once upon a time" in June. Tihihihihi!! And I get to watch the series every night , but just in case, I set my pvr to record the whole series. One can never be too sure!

How it started?? Nana and grandpa came for a visit last month, and Azfar had a blast playing all day long, resting only at night time when I have to force him to sleep. Even then, he will only sleep at midnight.

I guess all his energy ran out, the day nana & grandpa went back to Penang, Azfar crashed down at 8pm. And from that day onward, I'll make sure to ready him for bed by 8pm.

There are days when he lapsed into his old habit, but I persevere. During those nights when he fight sleeping, I'll bundle him up in blanket, carry him in my arms and nurse him until he fall asleep. Then off to watch tv I go :D

*Azfar still wakes up every 2-3 hours to nurse at night, but I cherish whatever free time I can get!!

I just need to get this off my chest

Alhamdulillah, Azfar is almost 11 months now. And in just 1 month we'll be celebrating his first birthday! Yeayyy!!!

I am thankful that Azfar has been healthy. He has only been sick once, two days ago, and it only lasted for 1 day. Still I wish that strangers will stop hugging/touching/kissing him. It never stop freaking me out every single time.

Only God knows where those hands had been. All the germs and bacteria. How many people don't wash their hands after visiting the toilet. I don't understand the need to touch someone (be it and adult or a baby) that you don't even know. If touching an adult could be a harassment, the same could be said about touching a baby. It could be a health hazard.

Some might not understand why I'm feeling this way. But I bet, a mother will understand.

New phone, yeayyy!!!

Happy jimba jimba ni. Dapat phone baru hihihihi.

Sblm ni pakai iPhone 3GS. Dah dua tahun pakai phone tu pun start on off sendiri. Pastu tiap kali "updating library" berdebar je pasal album pernah emptied sendiri. Byk pictures dlm tu especially gambar Azfar masa kat hospital.

Tgh pikir2 nak beli phone baru sekali dapat sms dari Maxis, iPhone 4GS harga RM599. Of course la ade contract 24 bulan utk ivalue2 punya plan. Got no problem with that. Skrg ni pun dah sedekad dgn Maxis.

So hubby pernah tanye why stay lama2 dgn Maxis. Actually I've tried all provider. Semua ade best dgn tak bestnye. So at last Maxis serasi. Besides, hubby dah pakai Celcom, so at least mana2 tempat takde coverage Maxis boleh pakai phone dia.

So nampaknye jodoh dgn Maxis for another 2 years la nampaknye

Bubbles!!!

Rugi betul x bawak phone ptg tadi. Kalau x boleh snap gambar Azfar main. Suka betul tgk Azfar nak tangkap bubbles. When I was small, I enjoyed playing with bubbles too!!!

Alhamdulillah almost tiap hari dpt spend time masa kat rumah ptg2. Priceless! Bawak Azfar dlm stroller pastu bawak jalan sambil sembang2 dgn hubby. Sambil2 tu tiup bubbles bagi Azfar tgk.

Sambil jalan2 tgk neighbor buat laman, pastu pikir, bestnye ada laman besar. Semoga rezeki bertambah murah utk kami, ada rezeki nak jugak rumah laman besar.

Selalu terbayang, ade tanah besar, buat backyard besar2 dan cantik2. For me, lg suka kalau laman blkg yg besar. Ada privacy. Tanam pokok pagar tinggi2, pastu boleh rehat2 x payah pakai tudung. Tanam a few pokok buah dgn kelapa pandan. Beli little tikes punye playground. Letak gazebo. Set lighting cantik2. Bestnyeee.

Doa supaya rezeki semakin melimpah ruah. Rezeki sihat, rezeki bahagia, rezeki berkeluarga, rezeki anak2, rezeki duit dan harta. And paling penting rezeki akhirat jugak.

tak tau nak letak tajuk

Nak kate kite ni suke blogging2 ni, xde la jugak. Cuma bile decide nak breastfeed Azfar ni, suddenly rasa nak share sikit2 my journey. Kot2 ada yg nak pikir2 dulu, kalau org tu terbaca blog ni, dpt la tau serba sikit journey bila you make a choice like this.

This choice I've made, truly change my life. First time breastfeed Azfar masa kat wad. Dah dekat midnight masa tu. Azfar lahir dlm 9.40am. Imagine how hungry he was then. Tapi doctor tak bagi susukan lagi, pasal I delivered through c-sect, maybe taknak ubat tu effect baby. My guess je la. Or maybe, I was having the worse headache. But the whole day, Azfar x nangis pun x menyusu. Sabar je tunggu mommy dia breastfeed.

First time breastfeeding, I was ecstatic. Happy sgt, sayu, sejuk hati. Looking at Azfar's face, lega.

Baru ni ade org tanye "kalau nak breastfeed ni, x boleh campur2 ke? Azfar dah 10 bulan, dah mmg mkn solids, xkan x boleh bagi susu formula? Sama jugak mcm you bagi dia cheese dgn yogurt, susu lembu jugak"

I x jawab sgt pun. Bukan xtau nak jawab, just xnak jawab. For me whether org tu nak exclusively breastfeed, or nak campur2, or nak bagi expressed breastmilk, or just nak bagi formula only, up to her. Mmg la doctor and government pun kempen breastfeed, but at the end of the day, both mother and father of the baby tu yg kene decide. Bile breastfeed ni, bukan mother je terlibat, father pun terlibat jugak. If the father doesn't support, it's hard to be successful at breastfeeding.

Granted, to exclusively breastfeed is not easy, especially when you are a working mother. But it's very doable. I'm a self employed mother, so I take my baby everywhere I go. But I go home early everyday. By 4-5pm I'm usually at home, so that Azfar could have playtime at home. He'll have his naps in the car, once in the morning and another in the afternoon on our way home. I schedule my appointments between his meals and naps.

Not the easiest, but definitely worth it.

Grateful

As I'm lying here beside my baby, I'm just grateful that I'm able to breastfeed him. If I have to expressed my milk, I know it would have been very hard for me, as I'm on the road daily. Where would I store my ebm? Where do I pump?

It's not exactly a friendly place for breastfeeding mothers. There are limited places that provide nursing room, and I'm not about to pump in the toilet. Just think of how dirty most toilets are anyway.

I'm just si grateful that I'm able to bring Azfar to work. I left my previous job because I want flexibility and better income. So, if I'm not allowed to breastfeed the way I'm doing it now, what's the point of being in this business in the first place.

I left my previous career because, it doesn't leave much time for everything else. I don't fancy going home late every night 10 years down the road. when I left 9 years ago, I dreamt of bringing up my kids myself, having a family, and having lots of time for them.

Now I just hope that I managed to do this until Azfar is at least 2 years old, and have a strong business too.

Azfar and his car seat

Hari ni pergi appointment berdua je dgn baby Azfar. Selalu Mr. Hubby yg tolong drive. So, keluar keje twice as early la nampak gaya. Appointment pukul 1pm, pukul 10.30am dah gerak ke kl. Why? Coz I'll need to make a few pit stop utk budak kecik sorang ni.

Selalunye kalau berdua je, selesa bawak kancil. Senang nak pasang infant car seat kat depan pasal kancil xde airbag (installing infant car seat at airbag enabled seat could be fatal). Kalau keta lg satu car seat azfar kene install kat seat belakang. Mau freak out budak tu. Before this dah penah try letak azfar sorang2 kat seat blkg while I'm driving. Dia ingat dia dah kene abandoned, berejam menangis.

Baru 15 min gerak, Azfar dah start nangis mintak susu. So stop kejap 20 minit. Tengah selesa2 dlm kereta, ade one guy jalan tepi kereta, alih2 die boleh lepak depan my car, sambil pegang hp, pandang2 dlm kereta kita. Bukannye boleh nampak ape2 pun... Psycho punye lelaki, I put Azfar back into his seat, drive away from that place. Meraung la Azfar, tgh sedap2 lunch kene interrupt. Tunggu kejap ye nak, mommy cari tempat lain.

After second pit stop, jam dah 11.30am, x boleh jadi, baru sampai kelana jaya, meeting kat dataran maybank. Azfar protest pun protest la. He cried All the way from kelana jaya to the meeting place. All 45 minutes of them. Sedih tgk Azfar nangis mcm tu x payah ckp laaa... Sayu je... Tapi sorry la ye sayang, mommy has got to train you... Dari balik hospital I've started putting him in his car seat. But at 6 months old he started rejecting the seat. I'm not about to let him crawl in the car while moving. So terpaksa la biar je dia nangis.

On the way balik pun macam tu. But maybe he's resigned to his fate, and realized I'm not going to pick him up while the car is moving. Slow la sikit nangisnye... Eventually he fell asleep after a good 45 minutes of screaming like a banshee with tears streaming down his cheek :(

Hopefully tomorrow will be better for him

Life with less Internet

Downgraded my iPhone plan, from ivalue3 to ivalue2 last night. It turned out, out of RM150 worth of phone call that I could make from ivalue3, I only use RM30 a month!!! I've been wasting RM120 a month for a year now. Since my contract with Maxis is over now, I'm free!!! Yippie!!!

Granted, my access to Internet will be limited now, with only 3G of Internet quota a month.

Let's do this for at least a month, if I could survive I might even downgrade to ivalue1

Nafs

Rejab is here again. We had a special class at Pesantren Ara last Friday (25 May 2012) after Asar.

Ustaz Razali talk about our biggest "capital". Since all of us who attended are doing our own business, this approach is most apt.

When we start a business, we put down capital. Be it money, energy or other resources.

Because we have put down capital for our business, it's just natural that we want return from it. And the return must be worth the capital that we put in.

So when it comes to us, as a human being, servant of Allah, the capital that Allah has given to us is nafs (nafas/nyawa). If a dying businessman offered a 100 billion ringgit in exchange of our nafs, will we accept the offer? The RM100b is such a small amount if compared with the value of all things material in this world.

If you want to "test" the value of nafs, imagine not being able to breath. Try holding your breath until it hurts.

So, since nafs is the biggest capital of all. Dream big. By dreaming big, not only dreaming about having big houses, or cars, or savings... Big cars, houses etc, these are the "residuals". The "flowers" of return. The true return is if we get into heaven.

That is why, as long as there is nafs, we should never give up. There might be ups and downs. But never give up on your life, never give up on yourself. No matter who you were before, there is always hope. As long as there is nafs, we still have the time to get the biggest return of all - heaven

Those little ciggies

this is me ranting. I was at a restaurant having lunch with Hubby and my baby when I noticed two "gentlemen" smoking in a non smoking area.

While I know smokers always retain their right to smoke (their money, their body kinda argument), we non smokers also have the right to not having smokers smoke near us.

And the restaurant have a designated area for smokers to boot!!! Those two "gentlemen" just don't have the decency to use their brain.

Wanted to take their pictures smoking with a "no smoking" sign right beside them, but Mr. Hubby stopped me. Should just take their pictures anyway...

The gift called life

Been quite sometime since I post in this blog. Even my previous posts are not quite finished yet *sigh*

I saw a post on my facebook wall yesterday, about the passing of a very young mother. A young teacher, who was married slightly more than a year, got sick when she was 7 months pregnant. After she gave birth, she was diagnosed with stage 4 brain tumor, leaving her young baby and husband.

I cried buckets especially when I saw the picture of her on the hospital bed looking longingly at her baby, but she was too weak to hold him.

Then I look at Azfar, and cried even more.

If you want to know more about her, search for "Norma and Talib" since I can't remember the blog's address.

I have also been following a blog about a toddler who was diagnosed with FLH and her twin sister. Their names are Miabelle and Noeli.

When Miabelle was nearly one, she got really sick and need a bone marrow transplant (BMT). I was in awe at how everybody put their effort together to find the donor. The search for donor went as far as Belgium (if I'm not mistaken).

They finally got a match, it was from a stranger. And that's what I call the gift of life. A stranger ever so willing to put her/himself at risk to save a life.

*when a hero comes along playing at the background*

While I don't think I'm brave enough to be a donor, I hope that whatever little I do in my life, could make someone else's life a bit better

Premier Club Dinner 2012

It's that time of the year again. Where every consultant who qualifies, are given awards & acknowledgement. This year is going to be different for us, because all three of us are going (that includes baby Azfar lol!)

Some might wonder why Azfar was at the dinner too. He's fully breastfeeding and at the point of this blog was written, he is still refusing to feed from a bottle or a zippy cup. And mommy and daddy is desperately trying to teach him to take to bottles to no avail. And since both mommy & daddy were receiving awards, and the rest of the team were going to be there too, Azfar got to go to dinner with us :D

We were so happy that night. I got my award as an agency manager for the first time. My wish is to have more people from my team to get awards next year. To have 3-5 more awardees would be very nice.

Nice & Cannes Day 1 & 2

To a baby, everything is a potential toy!

All these for me mommy!!

The cabin crews were awesome, all the toys for little Azfar kept him occupied for a while and mommy is happy to get some rest!! Thank you lovely ladies!

As you could see from this picture, Azfar was so happy rummaging through his newfound treasures. Through out our 6 hours flight from Dubai to Nice, the crews provided us with various toys for him. Since this is a morning flight, Azfar only took a 1 hour nap. He was too busy exploring his new surrounding.

Little gesture that make you smile :D

2.45pm, Bonjour Nice! After a long flight, this little gesture just made me smile. Evenif it just having your name displayed on the tv in your room :D. We just love this hotel, warm and smiling welcome. Very helpful reception. Delicious croissants.  Ooooohhhhh I'm going to miss their croissant the most! Warm and fluffy croissants, fresh from the oven every morning! Doesn't get any fresher than that. its a pity we only stayed at the hotel for two nights.



After a good rest, we went to Monaco, to see the yachts.

Good night everyone

At Eze Village, a quaint old town on top of the hill

Im the new Charlie's Angel

Azfar first oversea trip

April 28, 2012

We decided to spend the day at home, resting before the big trip tonight.

We are done with the packing, just need to do last minute check to make sure everything is ready.

Full of energy after a full night sleep

To be honest, I'm beyond nervous. How will Azfar be on the flight, will he sleep through it (hopefully), will he cry, etc.

9.30pm: the airport limo is here, so off we go!!! It's a group check in, so we need to be early.

10.30pm: checked in our big luggage. For this trip we brought 2 nesting luggage only. The smaller one which we put inside the bigger one will be used once we reach Nice, France.

Add caption

April 29, 2012

2.00 am: Thank God for pre boarding!!! We got on the plane earlier than everybody else, found a seat and voilà!!! I can now start to breath easily, pheww!

Azfar slept during most of the flight waking up only to nurse and then go back to sleep. We arrived at Dubai airport for transit at 5.00am Dubai time.

Someone is having a good time at the Dubai airport!! All the sights and sounds and colors and people saying hello to Azfar. He sure is in a good mood! (pheww again :) )

I have fun wherever I go

9.00am Off we go to Nice, France!!!

Azfar goes to Europe

In two days all three of us are going to Nice, France *yeayyyyy!!!*

Of course I'm very nervous, this is Azfar's first trip to Europe. Even it is spring now, will he be able to adjust to the colder climate? What about his normal schedule?

Needless to say, I'm fidgety and very anxious.

We'll dress him in layers, we are bringing his winter jacket too, just in case. And lots of toys, some old favorites and new ones for surprises.

I'll make a proper list of his clothings, first aid kits, toys, blanket, stroller, carrier etc later.

Azfar goes to work

This is what we planned for after little Azfar was born :

1.I'll breastfeed him and pump at the same time.
2.When I go to work, he'll have ebm until I pick him up in the evening.
3.I'll bring my Coleman, breastpump in the car and express every 3 hours.
4.If more ice is needed I'll get it from 7E

This is what happened:





1.Little pumpkin refused milk bottles. He though his bottles are a set of teethers and plays with it. He's very clueless on how to drink from milk bottles and ended up chewing the teats and have milk dripping down his chin. We have been offering him bottles since he was 2/3 months old until now(almost 8 months old). Why we start him on bottles only at 2 months old? That's another story altogether.
2.Since mommy couldn't afford to let go of career, Azfar goes to work with mom everyday.

Going to work everyday with a baby is not easy, but not impossible either.

Because Azfar refused to be fed by bottles, we started taking him out on outings early. It is totally against our culture.

We started with one outing a weeks that lasted about 3-4 hours, and slowly after a month or so, we started taking him out 2-3 full days a week and finally now 4 days a week, since I don't work on Friday and on weekends.

There a few things one need to be prepared:

On one of his first trips the local mall

1.Have a very flexible schedule and be open minded. There are days when things don't go as planned. It helps that I'm self employed and most of my clients are long term clients.

2.Have baby's nappy bag well equipped with diapers, nappy cream, extra clothes for baby, jacket in case weather gets really cold and travel diaper mat (you don't know when you'll need to change diapers in the back sear ;) )

3.Not everybody likes baby, and not everybody accepts breastfeeding. Some might not even want baby. So be adequately covered when breastfeeding and just believe in what you are doing, don't let them bother you.

4.My nursing cover that I bought from Fabulous Mom is a godsend. Very light and satiny, and since I live in Malaysia, very comfortable in humid weather.

With mommy at the headquarters, all bundle up

5.Wear comfortable clothes. You don't have to buy nursing clothes. Just be creative. I found nursing tank by Gillian & O'Malley that I wear underneath my clothes. I personally don't like nursing clothes because most of the time they are not well made, bulky and don't fit me well, the ones that do look nice on me costs me an arm and a leg. So I bought a lot of Gillian & O'Malley nursing tank in multiple colors and wear normal clothes.


6. Bring your stroller AND baby carrier.

7..There are people who are opinionated and really think that they should voice them out. If you don't like their comments, or those comments are hurtful, just block them out from your mind. You can't control what other people do, but you can control your response towards them.